“And the sky shall become busy with things that are not birds, and the authorities shall say they are investigating, and the investigation shall conclude at a time that is convenient.” — Book of Hale, Chapter 7, Verse 3 Last winter, the skies over New Jersey were full of drones. The official explanation was, in…
“And the humble egg shall become a luxury, and men shall speak of it in hushed tones at the grocery store.” — Book of Hale, Chapter 5, Verse 9 I wrote the above verse in January of 2022. I want that on record. I have a timestamp. The document is notarized by a man named…
“The timeline is a river, not a road. It bends. It does not apologize.” — Reverend Cyrus Hale, internal memo, March 2024 Brothers and sisters, I owe you an update. I do not owe you an apology — those are different things, and I want to be very clear on that distinction before we proceed….
Filed from a parking garage, third level, facing the exit, engine running. I want to preface this dispatch by saying that I went in good faith. I believe in engaging with institutions directly. You learn more from the inside of a government building than from the outside. Also the parking is validated. The Form The…
Filed from an undisclosed vehicle, parked at an undisclosed distance from a cell tower in a state I will not name but which has a rectangle for a border. Day eleven. I have been living out of the Field Vehicle — which longtime subscribers will recognize as the 2009 Subaru Forester I refer to in…
Filed at 2:47 AM. The timestamps matter. Please note the timestamp. I have been running the radio equipment since 11 PM. This is standard practice during periods of elevated activity, which I define as any period in which more than three prophecy indicators are active simultaneously. We are currently at five. The Hum At 11:34…
Filed from the Field Vehicle, in the parking lot of the establishment in question. It is a Tuesday. There are fourteen other cars here and I have written down all the plates. This is standard procedure. I want to begin with a correction to Dispatch No. 3: the URL the woman gave me now redirects…
I want to be precise about one thing before we begin: I am not the first person to question daylight saving time. I am, however, the first person to question it in the specific way I am about to question it, and I want credit for the specificity. The official history: it was introduced to…
I have been writing about fluoride for nine years. In that time, I have received a consistent response: “Reverend Hale, fluoride is safe. The science is clear.” And I always respond the same way: I did not say the fluoride was unsafe. I said the fluoride was there. And I asked why. This is a…
Filed from an undisclosed location with good WiFi, which I obtained through means that are legal and which I verified are legal. I have received many letters asking me to comment on the current efficiency purges being conducted across the federal government. I have been deliberate about waiting to respond. Not because I did not…
