Dispatch No. 4: The Dollar Store on Route 9 Has Begun Stocking Items I Cannot Identify. We Are Monitoring the Situation.
Filed from the Field Vehicle, in the parking lot of the establishment in question. It is a Tuesday. There are fourteen other cars here and I have written down all the plates. This is standard procedure.
I want to begin with a correction to Dispatch No. 3: the URL the woman gave me now redirects to a PDF. The PDF is 47 pages. Pages 1 through 46 are about a different department. Page 47 is blank. I consider this progress of a kind. But that is not what this dispatch is about. This dispatch is about the dollar store.
The Items
Three weeks ago, a new section appeared in aisle four, positioned between the off-brand cleaning supplies and the seasonal items. The items have barcodes and ingredient lists, but the ingredient lists include terms I cannot locate in my usual reference materials. I have photographed four packages and sent them to a contact I will call “the Chemist.” The Chemist has not responded in six days. He typically responds within 48 hours. I am not drawing conclusions. I am noting the fact.
What I Purchased
I purchased one item for research purposes. It is sealed in a plastic bag in the back of the Field Vehicle. I have not opened it. The item cost $1.25. The dollar store is no longer a dollar store and hasn’t been for some time. I believe this is also significant but I am not ready to connect those threads publicly. Do not shop in aisle four until further notice. — Reverend Cyrus Hale, Route 9, Thirteen other cars now