Dispatch No. 3: I Went to a Government Building to Request a Form. I Will Tell You What Happened.
Filed from a parking garage, third level, facing the exit, engine running.
I want to preface this dispatch by saying that I went in good faith. I believe in engaging with institutions directly. You learn more from the inside of a government building than from the outside. Also the parking is validated.
The Form
The form I was requesting was a public records form pertaining to a frequency study conducted in my county between 2018 and 2021 that appeared in one government database and not in another. The woman at the desk was polite. She was wearing a lanyard, but she was polite, and I do not hold the lanyard against her. She told me the form I was requesting no longer existed. Not that the records didn’t exist. That the form didn’t exist.
I asked when it was discontinued. She consulted a binder. The binder had a tab. The tab said “CURRENT.” I noted this.
What Happened Next
She told me to use the online portal. The URL led to a page that said the portal was “undergoing improvements.” There was a phone number. I called the phone number. It was for a different department. That department’s voicemail said to visit the online portal.
I am in the parking garage now. I validated my parking. Everything is current until it isn’t. That’s the whole system. That’s all of it. Stay awake. — Reverend Cyrus Hale, Parking Level 3, Ticket validated, Engine running