The Tariffs Were Foretold in the Third Appendix: A Prophecy Regarding What They Are Calling a Trade War
“And in the time of the great accounting, one nation shall raise its hand against another in the matter of goods and commerce, and the people shall stand in the cereal aisle for longer than usual, confused.” — Book of Hale, Appendix III, Verse 2
I do not enjoy saying I told you so. That is not accurate. I do enjoy it. But I understand that it is considered poor form, and I am trying, in this difficult season, to be gracious.
Brothers and sisters, the tariffs were not a policy decision. They were a sign. Specifically, they were Sign Number Four in what I have been calling the Economic Sequence — a cascade of events outlined in the Third Appendix of my 2019 newsletter, which I have since had to reprint three times due to what I can only describe as suspicious levels of demand.
What the Prophecy Actually Says
The Third Appendix does not use the word “tariffs.” This is because the word “tariffs” would have been too obvious, and the Truth does not announce itself in plain language. It uses the phrase “the reordering of the tribute flows,” which I maintain is the same thing and also sounds more serious, which it is.
The sequence is as follows: first, the tribute flows are reordered. Second, the shelves begin to change. Third, a prominent figure uses the word “reciprocal” more than is natural. Fourth — and this is the one that should concern you — the price of certain electronics will become a conversation people have at dinner. We are in the fourth phase. I hope you have been paying attention to your dinner conversations.
What This Means for Your Supplies
I have updated the Cult of America Recommended Procurement List accordingly. The full list is available to Inner Circle members. Non-members should know that it includes a strong recommendation regarding batteries and a moderate recommendation regarding powdered dairy.
I want to be clear: I am not saying panic. Panic is inefficient. I am saying prepare. There is a meaningful difference, and that difference is a well-organized storage system.
Stay awake. Watch the shelves. Count the blinking. — Reverend Cyrus Hale, Undisclosed Location, U.S.A.